break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize