it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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