My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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