I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
