their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
