Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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