FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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