I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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