And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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