Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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