it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
