Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ttyl tear gas
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
