OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
false alarm. still invincible.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
