the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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