I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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