Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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