Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
