I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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