The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
