So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
