OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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