hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
