Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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