shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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