Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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