hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.