dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.