my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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