He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
