well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
