is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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