Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
