Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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