Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
