listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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