I puked a lego.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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