RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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