exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
