tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
