I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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