I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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