exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize