my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is the high leading the old right now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
