Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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