The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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