my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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