i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
