It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Two words: nipple clamps
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