wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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