Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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