your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
