I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
