they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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