But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
