Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
