Don't you send me to vm
Will you blow on my dice?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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