What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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