It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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