My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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