All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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