UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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