um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
