Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
