Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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