just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
