I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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