I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I smell like Dick and happiness
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