Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
