3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
