FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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