i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
